Open questions

Recently a lot of questions are running through my head, make me think, wonder, scare me, want me do something and keep my inner self agitated. These questions are:

1. Why does it feel that you need to be at least 50 years old and CEO, have power and money to tackle global issues?
   
   
2. Why does it feel that thinking about having kids in two years or so might close a lot of career opportunities?
   
   
3. Why is it that I feel like I nearly burst with knowledge / theories on leadership, processes, change management and so on but need to wait to put it into practice?

Ad 1) I was reading a lot about the WEF, global discussions, how the company I am working for is involved in it, diaries from participants and the blog. Why I am not there? Because I am 24, no CEO, have no (financial) power? These topics are so interesting, and I feel like contributing to the global agenda, but how? Still have not found the ‘right’ opportunity / way for me to do so…

Ad 2) I never wanted to have kids at the age of 18. Just wanted a career and to drive a nice BMW Z4. The ‘older’ I got, the more I want kids, the more I want to be a young mum. I think about children a lot, when the ‘best’ point in time would be to have some (if there is something such as a best point in time) and how it would influence my career. Having a kid would change my life, would change me, would I still want the same than now afterwards? What is it that I want now? The aspiration for a child in my heart is in constant conflict with my brain, listing all the contra points.

Ad 3) I read and read and read. I absorbed so many knowledge about management, leadership, supply chain management, change management, planning processes and so on that it feels I could burst. I want to put it into practice, now not only in 30 years. I want to have responsibility, want to have an impact on people, drive my ideas, drive change. Why is it not possible to just become CEO (well except if I found my own business – thought about that, but the idea is lacking)? I feel like I need a play ground for my ideas and visions to help them to come alive.

Competitive Strategies?

"Every morning, in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it will have to run faster than a lion, otherwise it will be killed.

Every morning, in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it will have to run faster than a gazelle, otherwise it will die of hunger.

When the sun rises, it doesn't matter if you are a lion or a gazelle -

when the sun comes up, you had better be running."

- Author unknown

Schifaon

"Am Freitog auf'd Nocht montier i di Schi
Auf mei Auto und dann begiab i mi
In's Stubentoi oder noch Zöll am See
Weu durt auf die Berg o'm hom's immer an leiwandn Schnee

Weu i wü, Schifoan, Schifoan, wow wow wow wow
Schifoan, weu Schifoan is des leiwandste
Wos mer si nur vurstoin kann

In der Fruah bin i der erschte der wos aufefoart
Damit i net so long aufs aufefoarn woart
Ob'm auf der Hütt'n kauf i mar an Jägertee
Weu so a Tee mocht den Schnee erscht so richtig schee

Weu i wü Schifoan ...

Und wann der Schnee staubt und wann die Sunn scheint
Dann hob' i olles Glick in mir vereint
I steh' am Gipfel schau obe ins Toi
A jeder is glicklich, a jeder füht si woi

Und wü nur Schifoan ...

Am Sonntag auf'd Nacht montier i die Schi
Auf mei Auto aber dann überkommts mi
Und i schau no amoi aufe und denk' ma
"Aber wo"I foar no net z'Haus i bleib' am Montog a no do Schifoan ... "

I spent three wonderful days with Fabian in Davos. Crystal clear deep blue sky at 2600m, sun and the most amazing view over snow covered mountains.

Loved it!

2005 Reflections (3) – wishes/ thoughts for 2006

* Fly to Dublin, feeling the atmosphere of the city again
* Showing my parents around in Zürich
* Robbie Williams Tickets
* Define my goals more precisely, where do I want to go, what I am really passionate
about, work on my long term goals
* Loosing 5-8 kg and getting into better shape again
* My job gets more exciting, a great project role comes up
* Living life more consciously again
* Be more active – cinema, concerts, theatre, excursions..
* Where does OUR way lead us to?
* Go on holidays with Fabian
* Develop myself further

2005 Reflections (2) – highlights of the year

* Signing my first work contract
* Last night in Malaga (WNC) – unforgettable
* Laissez-faire in Spain for 3 weeks, the beach, the sun,..
* Moving on in my life to a new step, finally moving out of my room at “home”
* Every time coming back “home” to my family
* Moving in with Fabian, buying OUR first plant
* Travelling for a few weeks to Germany and Chicago, ride in a limo, new faces, nice
hotels
* Reunion night with Fabian after Chicago
* Finding a way back to AIESEC after the MC
* Starting Golf
* Me + the city – my love for Zürich

2005 Reflections (1)

* 2nd half of MC term – ups and downs, doubts, reluctance, “high” after Kick
Off, good-bye to the MC, moving on
* Job Hunt and signing my first work contract
* Fabulous holidays in Spain with my sisters
* New Year with Horst in Stuttgart
* Moving together with Fabian – moving to Zürich, finally moving out of my
room at my parents’ place, getting terrible homesick and culture shock
symptoms after over a year in Switzerland
* Bern – Marcilli, the Aare and strolls on the Gurten
* Nice days at lake Garda with my family
* Going home regularly and spending quality time with my parents, sisters and
oldest friends
* Start my new job, exiting weeks in Germany and the USA
* Job frustration – no project for me at the moment
* Questioning my job decision