Value Triangle

Some time ago I defined my three personal values, which I want to live after. It was some morning I woke up and they were crystal clear to me. I call it my “Value Triangle” as all values need to be present in combination and in a balanced way. Too much of one is not good, too little of the other neither. However to keeping the balance is not always easy.

Family –
Family is extremely important to me. I do have and want to keep a good relationship with my parents and sisters. They play a key role in my life. It is important to me to have regular contact with them be it over phone calls, emails, skype or a visit. I need to know what is going on in their lives, what makes them happy at the moment, what gives them sorrows. I want to congratulate them for their successes and birthdays. I want to be there for them if they need somebody to lean on or only be it to have a bitching session.
This also includes the strong desire to found a family of my own in the near future.

So why do I moved in a different country then, away from my family? Well this is linked to my other two values as you will see. But I try my best to NEVER forget to keep contact, call on their birthdays or be there if possible. That is also why it is extremely important for me to go “home” to my family at least every 5-6 weeks, more often every 4 weeks.

Love –
I cannot imagine a life without love. The love for my family and the love for my partner. Love includes to be fair to people and to acknowledge them. This is why I actively try to say thank you to others often or to acknowledge their small and big successes in another way.
Love also includes the relationships to my partner. A relationship does not stay healthy without work and here I learned a lot from my first love and long-term relationship which I now can actively incorporate in my current one. Respect is the most important thing. If you don’t respect each other as a whole, as the other person is with all strengths and weaknesses you will never ‘absorb’ the other person as a whole. Trust and freedom are important as well. Everybody has its own life, interests, habits… these need space as well and you value time together more and don’t get stuck into day-to-day habits if you spend time apart. Trust for this is a must.
Finally it is important to be close to each other, very close some times where you just lie there skin to skin feeling the warmth of the other person’s body and hearing his heart beating. Show each other that you are in love.

I have been lucky on the second value so far. I feel as if I am ‘arrived’, don’t need to search any more. Two hearts reunited in one soul.

Personal Satisfaction and Happiness-
The first two values are nice. But without this one I could not enjoy and value them as much.
I need to feel satisfied. Sure not every day is like that and I don’t want to be satisfied and happy all year long as there would not be anything to long for anymore. It is more that I care about myself, my body, my health, my soul. I try actively to be good to myself and listen to myself, my inner voice and how I feel. I try to act upon these feelings as much as possible and no against them. Part of this value is my job, where and how I live, my health, my mental balance, sports and my body, stress reduction, relaxation.. .

I am not always happy… I have my downs. But values one and two are my safety net which catches me when I am falling and helping me to reach value three as far as possible.

What are your values?